Searching for the one to make a crowd

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what makes me, me. What my life has been like up to this point, my human connections and my recent choices. All this makes up my identity, who I am. So many things have changed this year that I can’t answer the question of who I am, what I want or where I am going anymore. So I have come up with a little formula to explain myself to myself. Maybe if I can put things into an equation then I’ll be able to analyze myself a little better.
We can be divided into three parts that make up our one identity, don’t worry Desi, I’ll explain.
Your parents are your parents, even when you’re not speaking to them, they are your parents. It’s kind of the same with a home, a place where you come from there is always one place where you come from, one place where you feel like you belong completely.
The senior class for my European Studies Certificate concentrated on the topic of identity. Identity is who you are, very easy, but the answer is not simple. Everything about you goes into your identity, and some of the things that define you most are your national affiliation and culture.
Most of the time, when you walk into a room and you see people that are form the same place as you, you immediately form a silent connection with these people, and, if given the choice, you would probably sit next to these people before anyone else. It’s all about comfort and about familiarity. This is the first third of your identity.
I have never felt like I am from anywhere in particular, my family is from one place, that on one level I relate to, I spent my childhood and am again living in another that I also relate to and I spent the other two thirds of my life in a place I don’t quite relate to but which became what I was used to before I knew it. The upside to my predicament is that I am more likely to adapt to other places more than most people.
But now, forget the general programming that goes into our hard drives as we grow up. What happens to the other part of your identity, I am talking about the you, you are to other people, your family, friends and people on the street.
In your troupe of friends, are you the smart one? The cute one? The slut? Are you always the sibling or child your family counts on? Are you the baby that no one expects anything from? Are you the wiz at work? Are you the one that always gets passed up for a promotion?
Part of what makes you who you are the bonds you form, the inside jokes that are created through experiences, memories that you share with other people. This is the second third of your identity.
This second third is more important than the first third. The first is the one people know about first. Take your passport, people know where your come from before they read your name, know who your father is and you usually tell people about your geographic affiliation before you tell them how many siblings you have or about your best friends. Still, these are the people whose eyes you see yourself when you are in public, whose opinions you count on and who know you and forgive you for all the things that you do or don’t do.
The last third is more personal and harder to define, it’s how you see yourself, and what you think of yourself. It’s the songs you sing in the mirror when no one is around, it’s the fact that you are aware of that unseemly hair that you are hoping no one notices before you can get rid of it, it’s the things you are proud of about yourself but don’t want to share because you are afraid that people might think that you are full of yourself if you say them out loud, it’s your insecurities, your secrets, your fears, your personal memories, in short, life through your eyes.
So we have: Your ontology, your interpersonal connections and your point of view. If you establish those then Congratulations! you may now fill out a Facebook profile.