Searching for my own path

There are as many reasons for doing the Camino as there are pilgrims. You hear this all the time. While here I have also noticed that there are many ways to do the Camino: on foot, by bike, horse (though I haven´t seen that yet), with your pack on your back, having someone transporting your pack for you to your next destination, in bits, by public transport, with other people, by yourself...

After Burgos there is an area of land called the Meseta. Many pilgrims take a bus from Burgos to Leon or try to walk the way and take a bus for at leat a portion of it. They lady who owns the Ospital de Peregrinos where I stayed in Rabé de las Calzadas told me that skipping the Meseta is a mistake because it is magical. I don´t know if it is magical, it´s certainly cool and for me, has probably been the most significant spiritual bit of the whole journey. The Meseta is where I decided to let go.

I know that I have said this before, but the Camino is like life. There are parts of the Camino that take you through beautiful fields willed with natural paths and native creatures, those are the bits that everyone likes. Now a day, the Camino also takes you through large cities, industrial zones, places that smell like shit, literally, yesterday, one bit was so bad that I thought I might throw up.

I walk the Camino differently than most. I am slow, I do between 18 and 20 kilometers a day. I get distracted when I fly crosses in front of me, an since I walk next to a lot of rivers this happens very often. Some days, like yesterday, the walk was very, very hard. I was tired, my body hurt and the only thing that go me through it was singing children´s songs at the top of my lungs to forget the pain in my body. Sadly, I was 3km away from anything; I´ve never considered hitchiking more seriously in my life.

I received an email a few days ago from a very good friend, among the things he told me, he said "let go and let God". That is what I am trying to do. Today I had to forcemyself to just let go and accept that I had a pace, that my pace was the perfect pace for me and that I should not worry about other people´s paces. Ever since I did that, everything seems to have fallen into place.

I have walked alone for a few days and finally seem to have gotten my wish, maybe more than I have bargained for. I see people form groups of friends and sort of adapt their Camino to stay together with the group, but I have the opposite need. I usually am very complacent with people and follow along with whatever others want to do, I came here to do exactly what I want when I want and so far, I am being pretty successful at it.

It´s hard to explain the position where I am right now. As I walked today I was approached my an older man (in his late 60s or 70s) that asked me if I was alone, having learned my lesson as I will explain in a second, I told him I stopped to go to the bathroom and my friends got ahead of me. He asked where my boyfriend was and when I said home (I am stil slow on the uptake) he said I would not be making love anytime soon. This is the second old man that approaches me to talk to me about sex! The first one was at a cafeteria where I had stopped to get something to eat.

A man in his 70s asked me to join him and having had thus far a great experience with town folk I did, after some pleasant talk, the conversation turned on a note I didn´t like when he said "you look like a veteran" having left my cat of nine tails and thigh-high leather boots at home I had no idea what he was talking about. HE began to talk about sex, and this man was absolutely disgusting. His nails were black underneeth, he must have been 120 years old, he was 4´10, fat and look like he hadn´t showered in days, not to mention he drooled when he ate. He began to describe what he liked to do to women which I will spare you in case you happen to be eating while reading this entry.

Now, assesing the knee to bollocks situation is always an option, but you have to be smart about it. I was a pilgrim walking alone, they know what path you travel on and I didn´t want to put myself in a compromising situation, so I nodded to everything he said, took his number when he offered it and got the hell out as soon as I could. Needless to say I have made a vow of chastity for the next 6 years after the though of what that man said.

After today´s incident, only about 50 maters after I was approached by an older couple who smiled nicely and told me what a wonderful things I was doing, I told them what had just occured and they were outraged. They bought me a "cortado" and we chatted, it put me in the best of moods! They told me about their life story and it was sucha beautiful one that I never wanted to leave. They had been together for 47 years and they hed a child, they had a house in Asturias and one day hopes to do the Camino. EVentually, as the sun was getting stronger, I had to leave, and they walked me toward the Camino, but not before giving me a jar of honey from their very own bee farm!

The lady said it might be too heavy, and it was a big jar, but to me, it looked like she was giving me a large jar of sticky, sweet love. I took the jar of love and felt the added weight in my pack, but happily walked on feeling happy with my latest encounter and having completely forgotten the one before.

Today´s walk was pretty nice and slow paced, it was a short one, only 18k. As I walked into Leon, I saw that my favorite band Estopa is playing here tonght! I thought, "today must really be my lucky day!". You see, I have never ever seen Estopa as they don´t tour the US and they are never where I am in the world. I always miss them by a couple of days, but somehow, they are here, in Leon for one night, and it happened to bethe night before my rest day (I would have gone to see them anyway!).

I don´t know if the events of today have anything to do with my decision to just be accepting this morning, but whereas I got out of bed this morning filled with doubt and fear, I will go to bed tonight with a jar of love and an earfull of great music!