As the time passes, I am still in Santiago. I´m not going to Finisterre, not yet at least. I am not sure the words I look for lie at the end of the earth, I think what I need is inside and will come out with time, patience and peace.
Probably one of the most important things I am living at the moment is that I am in the process of learning to accept. This Camino in no way has been what I have expected, at no time. The ending has not been either, to be frank it´s been quite anticlamactic, very commercial and full of people. I would love to go back three weeks ago to where I was mid journey, but I was walking toward something.
I am deciding to feel what I feel, not try to plan things and enjoy what is going on, whether it is seeing the Cathedral from the top of a Ferris wheel, or eating CHinese food for breakfast.
The end of the world sounds like a beautiful idea, but what´s at the end of the world? TO be honest, who cares? I don´t want to know a limit just yet, I don´t want to not keep walking, maybe there is a new beginning at the end of the world, maybe there isn´t. When I was in doubt, I asked Santiago to guide me as to whether I was to go or not, just when it seemed like he wanted me to, he stopped me, through no doing of my own.
I am not sure what my path ahead holds for me, but I welcome the surprise. I look forward to feeling the pain, the glory, the happiness, the sadness and yes, even the imaginary blisters I will have on my feet from walking the next path.
My feet are tired, and I want other things. Walking to the end of the world is just that, nothing more. The answers will just as easily come at a McDOnalds as they would in front of the Atlantic, that is what I have learned on the Camino, that acceptance of the now will clear the brush and show you the path to your truth, which is different for everyone.
Veronica
P.S. When I got to Santiago I bought me a dress and shoes, I guess where some people realize they don´t need to take care of themselves as much, I want to reflect on the outside what I feel on the inside. But if I had to be in pilgrim clothes forever, that would be cool too, I have never felt so beautiful and so wanted. Wanted by women, children, old men and everyone that crosses my path true attraction is something that doesn´t need to be seen through the eyes, it´s felt within.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Of all the things you've said, my favorite is this after thought.
ReplyDeleteDad
El camino no acaba en Santiago.
ReplyDeleteEMPIEZA EN SANTIAGO!!!
BUEN CAMINO!!!!
Im going to have to put that thought in a quilt! Our eyes can see color and beauty but only our hearts can feel and experience it. love you. Give yourself a break
ReplyDeleteEl final no existe, solamente el comienzo de algo nuevo.
ReplyDeleteDeseando verte y darte un abrazo. Cuídate mi niña.
Maxi-tu
Hey V, I can only send you this; a poem by greek poet that lived in Alexandria, Egypt - Konstintinos P. Kavafis -you might already know his work. It sounds so much better in Greek, but the meaning is still there.
ReplyDeleteKisses,
Lyd
ITHACA
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.