Searching for the Right Mantra

I have always lived in the first world. Where you turn on the stove knob and there is heat, where the walls are closed, the shower is hot, the air conditioning is on and the TV is available, but this is not where I am now.

There is a mantra that I have been trying to tell myself on a daily basis simply for survival, one that I hope to be able to carry out eventually without thinking, one that will intrinsically become a part of me at one point, and will fight the years and years of habits that I will hopefully be able to correct. It is the right thing to do here and a better way to be. I find myself failing at it sometimes and immediately going back and repeating these words to myself, over and over again to see if they will stick in my mind long enough for the next time.

Those are:
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”

All my life, no matter what has occurred in the bathroom, I have cleaned myself and simply thrown the paper away under me and flushed to have it never be seen again. This is of course, because I have always lived in good houses, modern apartments, and places where the plumbing has come forward leaps and bounds in the past 50 years. Here in Leon, the houses are many over a hundred years old, and the plumbing must be from about the same time because it cannot deal with the multi tasking abilities of processing human waste and the toilet paper that goes with it.

I am so busy sometimes that I don’t go to the bathroom right away, so I am holding it in for a little longer than I should. I become desperate to pee. When I finally find the moment to run and get rid of the liter of water that I have consumed and not yet sweat out through my pores I am filled with such relief. It is only minutes later that I am consumed with dread as I realize that, again, I have wiped and thrown the paper down the toilet, without thinking, without contemplating and without noticing until it’s too late. If I have not peed and in fact have done other things, I am somewhat vindicated as I usually wipe multiple times and am able to correct my behavior with the multiple wads of toilet paper to follow their lost brother.

As I continue along my day, I am imagining my many mistakes, floating down the too-narrow pipes of Leon, creating stoppages that might cause eruptions bigger that the Telica and Cerro Negro volcanoes put together.

In 1992, the Cerro Negro eruption lasted for many days, raining ash on the city of Leon for a week straight. There were no casualties dues to the volcano itself, but the 5 centimeters of ash that accumulated on the flat roofs of the houses in the city proved too heavy for the old constructions and all the casualties of the eruption were produced by the caving in of roofs that were not designed for the extra weight. Ever since then, the roofs in Leon have been peaked, so as to not allow this tragedy to happen again.

I feel lucky that the roofs are this way now. As I fear the worst consequences from my inability to throw away the toilet paper in the correct receptacle. And forget me, how about the tourists? All the American, Canadian and European tourists who carelessly throw away their paper into the toilets of Leon, and who, unknowingly are creating the largest stoppage known to man, which might, if not corrected, one day erupt and cause the roofs of the houses to be covered in 5 centimeters of something else.

I’m here only for a few months, and I hope I don’t have to see a shit storm of that magnitude. I for one hope to do my part and one day automatically remember that I am here to help and not cause natural disasters. I hope to one day be at home again, where the only thing I have to remember when I go to the bathroom is to flush, because otherwise it might not be nice for the person who comes afterward. I hope to be enveloped by the nurturing of Charmin triple-ply with aloe and to never have to think of what I have done after leaving the bathroom.

I hope to go back and be able to read in the bathroom, and think about other things, to make lists, talk on the phone, play video games, file my nails or listen to music, but until that day I shall simply have to concentrate and keep repeating my mantra:

“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”
“The toilet paper goes in the trash can”